


Trans!AU One-shots

by mist2393



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: FTM, M/M, One-Shots, Past Relationships, Trans Character, current Cockles, ftm Misha, trans!Misha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-11 03:37:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3312446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mist2393/pseuds/mist2393
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a series of related one-shots about Misha's life as an ftm trans man. They'll be added as they come to me, which is usually during classes. Any of the one-shots which take place in the present will be cockles, but the past ones will have other relationships.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Time to Tell

**Author's Note:**

> In this one-shot, Misha comes clean to Jensen about who he used to be. Short, sweet, and pretty corny.

Misha fidgeted as he sat on his bed, waiting for Jensen. He hadn’t been this nervous since he was sixteen and had had this same conversation with all of his friends and family at the time. He hadn’t spoken a word about it since he’d finished transitioning. As far as anyone else knew, he was a completely normal man. Well, more normal than he actually was. He’d decided, however, that he had to tell Jensen, now that they were together.

“Mish?” Jensen asked as he walked into the room. Misha turned to him, swallowing hard.

“Hey,” he greeted. Jensen saw his nervousness and joined him on the bed, taking his hands.

“What’s wrong?”

“There’s something I wanted to tell you. First, I want you to know that you’re one of the only people outside my family and a couple of friends that will know about this.”

Jensen stroked Misha’s knuckles as he listened, and he nodded gently.

“I understand.”

“I-I haven’t always been…me,” Misha began. “Until I was eighteen, I was…well, my body was female. When…when I was sixteen, my mom helped me start transitioning into the body I’m in now.”

Jensen was quiet for a moment before taking Misha’s hands in his own, kissing his knuckles.

“Thank you for telling me,” he murmured. “But I didn’t fall in love with this-” he gestured to Misha’s body- “I fell in love with this.” He put his hand over Misha’s heart. Misha let out a slow breath, beginning to smile.

“You love me?” he asked quietly. Jensen smiled back.

“Yeah,” he replied, blushing. Misha’s smile spread into a grin, and he kissed Jensen deeply.

“I love you too,” he whispered. Jensen wrapped his arms around Misha, holding him close.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one goes back in time, to when Misha first comes out to his family as transgender. Set when Misha's 16.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some slight accidental misgendering on Sasha's part just because he is in the scene for a bit before he finds out that Misha's a guy.
> 
> Also, I've always thought of Rebecca and Sasha being totally kick-ass and open-minded.

"Mom?" Misha asked, sitting down and shoving his skirt to the side. He didn't normally wear such feminine clothes, but he'd had a date earlier and hadn't yet revealed to his boyfriend that he wasn't a girl.

"Yes honey?" Rebecca asked, looking up from the pair of jeans she was repairing. Misha took a deep breath.

"I think I'm a man," he stated, blushing darkly. His hands were fisted in the folds of his skirt. Rebecca put the jeans down, looking at Misha. Her expression was full of curiosity as she took in what he'd said. 

"Do you want me to call you something else?" she finally asked, taking Misha's hands.

"No," Misha replied, shaking his head. "I like Misha. But maybe...instead of Michelle, it could be short for something else? But I don't know what..." He bit his lip, frowning hard as he tried to decide on something. He honestly hadn't thought of that. As open-minded as his mother was, he'd been half-expecting her to get angry. He'd heard the stories of trans men and women coming out to their families and being beaten to death or tossed out or a million other things.

Rebecca pulled Misha into a comforting hug, sensing that he needed it. The teen melted against her, feeling tears forming in his eyes.

"When I was pregnant with you, I was going to name you Dmitri," she told him, stroking his hair. Misha smiled.

"I like that," he murmured. "Can I go by that now?"

"Of course, baby." She kissed his forehead. "We'll tell Sasha when he gets home from his friend's house."

Misha nodded, smiling softly.

"I love you, Mom," he whispered.

"I love you too, Dmitri." Rebecca kissed Misha's temple, smiling at the shiver of happiness at hearing his new name. While they were hugging, Sasha walked into the tiny apartment they were sharing. He made a face of disgust.

"Why are girls always so gross?" he asked, sitting down next to Misha.

"Because it keeps boys away," Rebecca teased. Misha pulled away from her, swatting at Sasha.

"Especially boys like you." He stuck his tongue out.

"Sasha," Rebecca said quietly after a moment, capturing her sons' attention.

"Yeah?" the younger boy asked, looking curious.

"Misha has something to tell you." At her words, Misha tensed up, biting his lip. Sasha turned to him, furrowing his brow.

"You're not marrying that Nick kid, are you?" he demanded.

"N-no." Misha looked taken aback at the statement.

"Good. He's an ass."

"Sasha!" Rebecca scolded. The thirteen-year-old shrugged.

"It's true." Sasha turned to Misha when the older teen touched his shoulder.

"Sash, I'm....from now on, I'll be going by Dmitri. And...and I'm a boy." Misha looked away, swallowing hard. Sasha was silent for a moment.

"Sooo...you're like....my big brother now?" he asked. Misha nodded, biting his lip again. Sasha grinned.

"Great. Now you can be my wingman. It's so much easier with a guy than with a girl." He slapped Misha's arm, and the older boy winced, frowning.

"What if I want the girl to myself?" he asked, frowning. Sasha narrowed his eyes.

"I'm mostly chasing thirteen-year-olds, Mish. You can have all the sixteen-year-olds to yourself."

Misha stared at Sasha for a moment before pulling him in for a hug, burying his head in the other's shoulder. Sasha blushed, but put up with it, hugging his brother back. He knew how hard it must have been for Misha to tell him this, and he wanted to show his support.

 


	3. Telling the Fans part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This will be a two-parter (because otherwise it'll be really long) in which Misha comes out as ftm to his fans. This part has Misha talking to Jensen about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guess what I'm back. I got a full-time job last year that's throwing me for a loop (I'm always tired and worn out) but I've got this and like four other chapters ready to go, so expect a lot of updates over the next week or so.

Misha stared at the screen in front of him, biting his lip. He heard Jensen approach and quickly minimized the window, but not before Jensen saw the familiar tweet at the top.

  
“You have to stop looking at that, Mish,” he stated, wrapping his arms around the other’s shoulders and leaning against him. Misha leaned back against him, sighing and rubbing his face.

  
“I can’t help it, Jen. It’s just…it makes me think I should tell them.” He frowned, pulling up the window again. It was full of tweets calling Misha out for the supposed transphobic comment he’d made at a convention. It made him feel like he should come clean with his fans. He knew it would help them to know that one of their idols was a fully transitioned man. But he was terrified too. There was a large contingency of the fan base that hated him, and he was afraid of what they would say if they knew.

  
“That’s up to you. But don’t do it just to make them happy.” Jensen kissed the top of Misha’s head. “You should only do it if you feel comfortable doing it.”

  
Misha was silent for a moment, reaching up to run his hands over Jensen’s arms, holding on gently. Jensen kissed his head again.

  
“I think I’ll tell them at the next convention. I think I’m ready. And it’ll be so good for our fans. They need to know that they’re not the only ones.” Misha stood and turned around to hug Jensen tightly, nuzzling against him. “Will you be there with me? Even if we don’t have a panel together, I want you to be there with me when I do it.”

  
“Of course I will,” Jensen promised, wrapping his arms around Misha. He kissed his forehead. “I’ll crash your panel if I have to.” Misha leaned up to kiss Jensen deeply.

  
“I love you, Jen,” he breathed.

  
“Love you too, Mish.”


	4. Telling the Fans Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sequel to the last chapter, in which Misha tells the fans that he's ftm. Also Jensen being all supportive and stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might delve into the fans' reactions later, but my next two chapters are both mostly written, and they're both back into the past. One has Misha telling his boyfriend (which will not be a good chapter) and one with Misha getting his first binder (which is significantly better and has lots of bonding between Misha and Sasha).

Misha fidgeted, glancing towards the stage. Jensen stood next to him, rubbing his back. 

 

“It's gonna be okay, Mish,” he murmured. “They'll accept you. You'll see. And if they don’t, you and me will go up to our room and I'll remind you of why you're my favorite guy in the world.” 

 

He leaned in and kissed Misha’s forehead, pulling him in for a hug. Misha leaned into the hug, then heard Rob and Rich introduce him on stage. He pulled away and ran onto the stage, waving at the fans, all sign of the nervousness from a few moments ago hidden behind his usual grin. 

 

Jensen watched from behind the stage as Misha talked, answered questions, and joked around with the fans. He could tell that Misha was partially looking for a good opening, and partially trying to put off coming out to his fans. When there was only about fifteen minutes left in the panel, Jensen decided it was a good time to run onto stage himself, to give Misha the support he would need. As soon as he appeared on stage, the fans erupted into screams and clapping, and Misha turned towards him. 

 

“Hey, Jen,” Misha greeted, patting Jensen’s arm. The fans knew that they were together, but Jensen wasn’t ready to flaunt it on stage yet. That was a little too open for him. 

 

“Hey, Mish. You were looking a little lonely up here on stage so I decided to come join you. Hope you don’t mind.” Jensen grinned as the fans cheered some more at that.

 

“Mind? Not at all. Why would anyone mind having a polite Texan cowboy on stage with  them?” He pushed Jensen playfully, then turned back to the fans. “Right, guys?” 

 

“Now, now. Let’s not get crazy here. I’m here for a reason. And it’s not just to look at your ugly mug.” Jensen smirked at Misha.

 

“Ugly? Me? I’m offended. You must apologize to your overlord.” Misha lifted his head, looking down at Jensen. The younger man laughed.

 

“Yeah, yeah.  _ Sorry _ .” Jensen nudged Misha. He leaned in to whisper to the other man. “Are you ready, babe?” 

 

Misha took a deep breath, then nodded. Jensen squeezed his arm as he pulled away, turning back to the fans, who were all watching them curiously. It was clear, at least to those in the front rows, that Misha’s mood had suddenly changed. His grin had fallen, and the hand not holding the microphone was clenching sporadically. Jensen stayed close to him, their arms brushing.

 

“Okay, guys, Misha has something he’s been wanting to talk to you guys about. So, you know, listen up. And if you put anything online from this convention, make it this, okay? It’s kind of big news.” Jensen heard the confused mutterings spread through the group, and he stepped back, putting one hand on Misha’s lower back. Misha took a deep breath, biting his lip as he looked out at the crowd of fans in front of him. He had gone over a hundred different ways to explain to the fans that he was trans, but hadn’t been able to come up with anything until a conversation with his mom the night before.

 

“Well, like Jen said, this is a big deal. So forgive me if I’m not as...verbose as normal. But...as you all know, I wasn’t born Misha Collins. What you don’t know is that I wasn’t born Dmitri either. That didn’t become my name until I was in high school.” He paused, taking a deep breath. The fans were almost silent now, confused about where Misha was going with this. Jensen took Misha’s hand, squeezing gently to show his support. Misha took a deep breath and continued. “I was born Michelle Tippens Krushnic. A bouncing baby girl.”

 

Misha and Jensen could see the moment the fans understood what Misha meant. There was a sudden rise in their conversations with each other, and then someone started clapping and within moments the fans were cheering. Misha ducked his head, a small smile on his face. He had been terrified about what the fans would do. He knew this would lead to some...less than kind tweets and questions at future panels, but for now he let himself sink into the sounds of the fans cheering for him. After a while, Jensen stepped forward.

 

“Okay, guys, settle down,” he called. As usual, this just made the fans more excited, but it wasn’t much longer before they had quieted down enough for Jensen to speak. “So, now you all know. Post that online or whatever. I’m gonna kidnap Misha now for a little break. I know there’s still like five minutes left of this panel, so I’ll send Rob back up. He’ll talk to you guys for the last five minutes. I’ll talk to you all at my panel later.” 

 

He waved and guided Misha off the stage, one arm still wrapped around him protectively. As soon as they were in the green room, Misha pulled out his phone to start looking at his feed on Twitter, and to scroll through his tag on Tumblr. Jensen wasn’t super stoked about him doing so, but he understood that Misha needed to see what people were saying, to keep from freaking out or thinking up the worst possible scenarios. 

 

“They think you’re cute,” Misha remarked after a while. “And a lot of them wish they had boyfriends like you.”

 

“What are they saying about you?” Jensen asked, stroking Misha’s back. 

 

“Mostly supportive things. Some people think I’m lying about it. Some people think you should be with a real person. Some people think that’s how I got you. A lot of people think it was really sweet of you to stand on stage with me.” Misha put his phone down and turned to Jensen. “Thank you for that, by the way. It was really nice having you there with me.”

 

He went back to his phone, texting his mom. Two hours later, he tweeted a picture of himself at fourteen, wearing a long dress that showed off the chest he’d had at the time. He had hated the dress, had hated wearing it, and was fairly certain he’d torn it off five minutes after the photo was taken. But it did the job of convincing the fans of his truthfulness.


	5. Coming out to the Boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, guys, this one's hard. It was hard to write, and I imagine it will be a hard read. Major trigger warnings for intentional misgendering, transphobic slurs, homophobic language, all of it. Basically, Misha's boyfriend is a dick in this. BUT there's some awesome Misha empowerment at the end. And also the next one shot (which I will post immediately after this one) is pure fluff to make up for how shitty and dark this one is. Also I apologize if the ending isn't great. May or may not have been hungover when writing the last couple paragraphs.

Misha bit his lip as he looked down at what he was wearing. He was in a plain t-shirt and jeans. They were typical clothes for him, but his boyfriend usually preferred that he wear skirts or dresses. Misha usually complied, to save himself from having to sit through one of his boyfriend’s lectures on why girls should wear girl clothes to avoid “confusing men.” Honestly, if Misha wasn’t so lonely, he probably would have broken up with the man already. But he was lonely, and he doubted anyone else would date him.

 

His thoughts were cut short by a car horn outside. That would be Nick. Misha ran his fingers through his hair. He was planning on coming out to Nick tonight, and had no idea what his reaction would be. 

 

Throughout dinner, Misha had trouble staying focused. They were working on their dessert when Nick finally said something.

 

“What’s up, Mish?” he asked. “You’ve been acting strange all night, and you’re wearing your brother’s clothes. Is something going on?”

 

“They’re not Sasha’s clothes. They’re mine. I just don’t wear them on dates often because I know you prefer that I wear dresses.” Misha bit his lip. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

 

Nick eyed Misha warily. 

 

“You’re not one of those butch lesbian freaks, are you?” he asked.

 

“No,” Misha replied tersely. “I...I’m a man. I mean, Mom and Sasha are helping me transition. I’ve always felt wrong as a girl, and I finally figured out why.”

 

“You’re not a boy,” Nick stated. “Jesus, Michelle, being a lesbian would be better than claiming to be a tranny. How do you think this makes me look?”

 

“This is who I am, Nick,” Misha stated, expression hardening. “I’m not changing that just to make you look good. I am a boy. There’s nothing you can do to change that.”

 

“And how does your mom feel about losing a daughter?”

 

“She’s not losing me. I’m the same as I’ve always been.” Misha tugged on his shirt. “It’s just that now I’m happy.”

 

Nick snorted, leaning back in his chair. 

 

“You can say that all you want, but you’re spitting in your mom’s face doing this. You’re spitting in my face. Why don’t you stop being selfish for a moment and realize that what you’re doing is wrong?” 

 

Nick gave Misha a condescending look, and finally Misha couldn’t take it anymore. He stood up, intentionally tipping Nick’s drink into his lap, and walked out of the restaurant.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, pretty much pure brotherly fluff. It's really just an excuse to have Misha and Sasha bond, but also Misha wears a binder for the first time. Enjoy! Oh, also, I should probably mention (forgot to in the last one) but Misha is seventeen here and Sasha is thirteen.

Misha ran his hands over the tight piece of clothing covering his chest, looking at himself in the mirror. Tears pricked his eyes. This was the first time he’d been able to look at his chest without feeling disgusted since he had developed at the age of ten, when he’d still been presenting as a girl. After he had come out as a boy to his family, Sasha had helped him find the binder, and had even taken small jobs to help him pay for it. And now here he was, his chest flat for the first time in seven years.

 

“Looking good, bro,” Sasha remarked from the doorway. Misha couldn’t have asked for a better brother. Sasha had taken to calling him names like ‘bro’ and ‘big brother’ and ‘big guy’ as often as possible, as if constantly reminding Misha that he was allowed to be himself now.

 

“Thanks, Sash,” Misha replied, grabbing a shirt and pulling it on over the binder. He hugged Sasha. The younger boy returned the hug, grinning. 

 

“Boys aren’t support to hug each other,” Sasha stated. “But I’ll let you get away with it since you’re happy.”

 

Misha laughed, pulling Sasha into an even tighter hug. 

 

“What sort of sexist thinking is that?” he asked. “I suppose boys don’t kiss either?” He planted a big, wet kiss on Sasha’s cheek. Sasha squirmed and finally escaped, laughing. 

 

“You’re so gross,” he whined. Misha chased him, grabbing him and kissing his cheek again. They soon devolved into a wrestling match, laughing as they rolled around on the floor. After a while, Misha pulled away and lay flat on his back. Sasha moved to lay next to him, and they both stared at the ceiling.

 

“Are you happy now?” Sasha asked after a while. “I know you were sad for a long time.”

 

“Yeah, Sash. I’m really happy now.” Misha looked over at Sasha, smiling widely. “Thanks.”


End file.
